Welcome

Welcome to my blog. I’m glad you’re here. Sit back and enjoy while I tell you a little about myself.

My name is Will Sander. I was raised Lutheran. My parents were church going people, often dragging us kids even when we didn’t want to go, which was about every Sunday. I have the childhood recollections of ”Bible School” during Sunday services (although I think they need to come up with a better term than school. I went to school five days a week. I didn’t want to go on my day off. Maybe “Bible Party”.)

My parents were active in the church, with my father serving on the church board. As with most human endeavors, even ones that have the best of intentions, petty bickering and differences caused rifts within the group, and my family found themselves ostracized by the church that we were members of.

At the same time, I was completing the Lutheran rite of confirmation, which allowed me full membership in the church, and included instruction to allow me to participate in the Lord’s Supper. To complete this, I received twelve weeks of intensive Bible studies, culminating with a review before the church board, the same church board from which my father had been recently, forcibly removed.

I went in with an attitude. I knew that my father and mother placed a high value on my completing my confirmation rite, so I answered the questions as accurately as possible. One question in particular I remember. I was asked if I would regularly attend church upon my confirmation.  I had already decided I would not return to this church unless forced, so my reply was very negative. I asked the member (who had been a friend of my father’s until he turned against him) if God would listen to my prayers. He answered, “Of course.”

I asked. “Will he listen to them only when I’m in the Sanctuary?”

He replied, “No, God listens wherever you are.”

“If I can’t get to church, but still pray on Sunday morning, He will listen?”

“Absolutely.”

“Then, I’ll be sure to pray to Him, even if I’m not in your church on Sunday morning,” I replied.”

The pastor appeared angry, but remained silent during this exchange. The church member did not have an answer, and moved onto another confirmation candidate. I felt I had won the point. Religion was not God’s answer to worship, it was man’s. At that point, I decided I would not belong to any organized religion, but worship God on my own.

For the next ten years, I graduated from high school, then college, attending church only during the Christmas season. I did this for two reasons; because I felt I had to make an appearance at least once a year, and because I could actually follow the service, knowing all the Christmas hymns and stories.

When I married, it was to a Baptist woman whose family was active in the church. She had grown up in this church, her grandfather served on the church board, she and her father served in the choir, and the family was well respected. While completely different in philosophy from my Lutheran upbringing, I attended with her, because it was a church. I made the conscious decision to give religion another chance.

But again controversy roared in. The choir director that was hired was a vivacious, young woman with a strong, evangelical message. Her husband was a professional drummer, and, since I had played drums for years, we hit it off quite well. My wife adored this woman and her choir. The choir grew from a half-hearted collection of quiet singers into a thirty member strong force within the church. She opened doors to a youth ministries, formed a bell choir (which I joined) and generally vitalized the young members of the church. With her and her husband’s connections, they brought in professional musicians to augment the services. It was a genuinely glorious time. I saw that Christianity didn’t have to be stuffy, it could be fun! My wife and I spent many nights with this couple at their home, which was owned by the church and given to them rent free as part of her compensation. She was doing so well that the pastor asked her to take over the Children’s Ministry, setting up classrooms and curriculum for all of the morning Bible studies.

But, like all good things, man’s stupid pride disrupted it. I don’t know all of the details, since I learned all of these things second hand, but apparently there was some type of power struggle between her and the pastor, a thoroughly seedy character that I did not relate to at all.

One day, she called us to say she had been fired. The next day, the pastor resigned to take a position in another church in another state.

We spent the next several weeks trying to determine what exactly had happened to this woman. They explained their side over the course of several evenings with us as we helped them move. The church board refused to hear our concerns, busy with preparations for a big dinner celebrating the ministry of this pastor. Our friend, whom we felt was a big part of the recent success of this church, was thrown out of her job, out of her home, out of her church, and we were frustrated that there was nothing we could do about it. We called and wrote and even contacted the head of the Baptist churches in our part of the country, just trying to get a reason for this dismissal. All of our efforts fell on deaf ears. And for our efforts, my wife and I became outsiders in this church. This is the church my wife grew up in. This is the church that her family was well known in.

Her family, in the interest of keeping harmony within the church, quickly decided to support the pastor and his faction in the dispute. People began to speak in whispers whenever we entered into the church, or showed up for church functions. After a few weeks, the pastor left after a huge celebration of his good work. And we thought, “You hypocrite! How can you take credit for all of these ministries that our friend put into place?”

During the interim search for a new pastor, we still could not get any answers. We eventually came to a realization that the vast majority of the people in the church didn’t care who ran it or what their views were. As long as the church doors were open on Sunday mornings, the heat was paid for, and the organ was in working condition, their church was in good shape. Those who were in charge did not care about the needs of their congregation, but instead were worried as to how they might be perceived in all of this. It didn’t matter if a good person was slandered to get their desired result as as long as they got their desired result.

But my deepest regret is the reaction of our friend. I’ll grant you that losing your job is a traumatic event, and losing your home at the same time compounds it tenfold. But, we tried to keep in touch with her, even after she left the area and we left the church, and she continued her downward spiral. Eventually, her husband left her. Every time we met her, she wanted to know everything about the church and her situation. She is still a dear friend, although we rarely see her anymore.

After we left this church, we languished for a few years until we eventually tried another church. Once bitten, twice shy was our motto. We attended for almost a year before we became members, eventually joining the choirs again.

I still remained very skeptical about churches. I had seen two churches fall apart in front of me, affecting people I was close to. I chose not to make any friends in this church. I became one of those who were concerned with only the heat and the organ.

After awhile there, I got a new job that required us to move. My wife eventually found another church, this one a Bible teaching church. She brought (read, dragged) me there on many a Sunday, and slowly I began to become more interested in religion. I asked my wife to get me a Bible, and she got me a New Testament. I tried to read it, but it made little sense to me.

My job required me to fly to Kansas City several times a year. During one of these trips, I had lunch with a co-worker. She did something I had never considered. During lunch, she bowed her head and silently said grace. This was something I had never considered doing, something I had never seen done in a workplace before. Oh, I had said grace before, usually when my wife reminded me to before dinner.

I asked her to join me for dinner, but she said she had a Bible study to go to. This again was something I had never considered doing.

The next evening, we were able to sit down for a meal. I mentioned her praying, and her eyes lit up. She said she had been saved a few months ago, and it had been a great time ever since. She talked about her church, and the discipleship classes she was taking. She talked about something alive, something that had brought life into her. If this was religion, it was not something I had ever seen before.

I thought about her and her faith. I thought about the happiness I saw in her eyes. And the one thing I really thought about was why couldn’t I have that? Why couldn’t I believe that?

I had a three hour flight home. As the plane reached its cruising altitude, I decided that it was time to find out. I took out my Bible, closed my eyes, and said a simple prayer. “Lord, what do I have to do to be saved?”

I began to thumb quickly through the pages of my Bible until I felt compelled to stop. I opened the book and looked at the page. I didn’t skim the text, instead looking directly at the first piece of text I saw. It was Acts 2:21, “And anyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.“

I had gotten an answer, although it wasn’t the answer I expected. A coincidence, perhaps. I tried again.

“So what does that mean, to ‘call on the name of the Lord’?”

I thumbed through the Bible again, and stopped at Luke 10:27, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind.’“

Another answer, another coincidence. I tried again. “Lord, I have no doubts you exist. But, that knowledge is not enough. I want to know more. What do I have to do to be a true follower of you?”

It was John 6:47 “I assure you, anyone who believes in me already has eternal life.“

“Lord, I know you exist. I believe in you. Yet that doesn’t seem to be enough. What am I missing? “

Again, I thumbed quickly through the pages, until I felt compelled to stop. I read John 3:36, “And all who believe in God’s Son have eternal life.“

“Okay, Lord, is that it? Is belief all I need? Since I do believe, why don’t I feel like a Christian?”

1 John 1:6-7 “So we are lying if we say we have fellowship with God but go on living in spiritual darkness. We are not living in the truth. But if we are living in the light of God’s presence, just as Christ is, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from every sin.“

“So, what are you saying? Is belief fellowship? Is it faith? How do I know I have faith?

Romans 10:17 “Yet faith comes from listening to this message of good news—the Good News about Christ.“

“I’ve tried reading Your Bible. It doesn’t make sense to me. So much of it sounds so weird.”

1 Corinthians 1:18, “I know very well how foolish the message of the cross sounds to those who are on the road to destruction. But we who are being saved recognize this message as the very power of God.“

I was stunned at the answers I was getting. It was eerie. I looked at the Bible I held in my hand, as if it had some secret wires turning it to the pages I needed. I had heard of such things with Ouija boards, but not Bibles. “So that’s it? I listen, I read the Bible, and I’ll be a Christian?”

James 1:22 “And remember, it is a message to obey, not just to listen to. If you don’t obey, you are only fooling yourself.“

“I have to obey? Does this mean I have to go to church? Is that how I become a Christian?”

Acts 2:47 “all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their group those who were being saved.“

“So how do I get ‘saved’?”

Romans 10:9 “if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.“

“I still don’t understand. Can you explain it to me?”

James 1:5 “If you need wisdom—if you want to know what God wants you to do—ask him, and he will gladly tell you. He will not resent your asking.“

“Okay, I believe in you. Why is it taking me so long to understand you, and become like all these other Christians?”

2 Peter 1:4 “And by that same mighty power, he has given us all of his rich and wonderful promises. He has promised that you will escape the decadence all around you caused by evil desires and that you will share in his divine nature. So make every effort to apply the benefits of these promises to your life. Then your faith will produce a life of moral excellence. A life of moral excellence leads to knowing God better. Knowing God leads to self-control. Self-control leads to patient endurance, and patient endurance leads to godliness. Godliness leads to love for other Christians, and finally you will grow to have genuine love for everyone. The more you grow like this, the more you will become productive and useful in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.“

That was it! If I wanted to be a Christian, it wasn’t just a case of reading the right book, or finding the right church. I wasn’t going to find it with a Bible verse, or with a single sermon. But if I am truly interested in being a follower of God, and I am willing to learn, and I try not to take shortcuts, and I look on others as I would my own family, then I would truly understand what it was to be a Christian. I was looking for the “on” switch, but it didn’t exist. There was no way to suddenly become a Christian. If I wanted it, I would have to be patient and let God lead me, not try to lead him.

And so it went. About an hour into the flight, it suddenly hit me. I was talking to the Lord! He was talking to me! I was able to dismiss the first two or three as a coincidence, but we are talking about maybe upwards of a fifty questions and answers, with only one that didn’t seem to make sense to me.

Right then and there, I asked the Lord into my life. I asked him to accept me as I was, a sinner unworthy to even be near Him. Yet here He was, willing to talk directly to me. He didn’t care that I was a sinner. He didn’t demand that I prove myself worthy before He would accept me. He didn’t point out all of my faults. He just said, accept me, and I will accept you.

I landed, and couldn’t wait to tell my wife. She was thrilled, because God had finally answered her prayers of the last nine years. That sort of caught me off guard. Here I thought the Lord and I had finally worked things out, only to find my wife had orchestrated the whole thing.

I was baptized with my wife at Kansas City Baptist Temple on Sunday, July 26, 1998.

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~ by irreduciblechristianity on December 2, 2009.